Story Beats:
- Three young men: Duncan, Ryan and Zack are watching the skies for UFOs in the desert.
- Duncan is devoted to finding evidence for UFOs while Ryan and Zack have grown tired of it and are losing patience. (Conflict)
- Zack and Ryan make it clear they want to leave, they doubt they will find anything.
- Duncan says a local saw something just the other day.
- The look at the local he is talking about.
- The local is a deranged old man babbling to himself.
- Duncan promises to give up for the night in the next half hour.
- After more than half an hour, they reassert they want to go,
- Duncan ignores them, too consumed in his search.
- They get ready to leave on their own without Duncan.
- Ryan has a cigarette, is in a bad mood.
- Zack sees strange beams in the distance.
- One of the beams pulls up the old man
- Zack notices a giant object in the sky sending down these beams.
- He tries to warn his friends.
- Ryan is skeptical and in such a bad mood he refuses to listen.
- Duncan is consumed with his search he continues to ignore him.
- Zack gives up and is going to run away on his own.
- He is caught in the beam coming down from the sky.
- He begins to rise.
- Ryan comes to help save Zack by grabbing onto his leg.
- Ryan begins to lift up with Zack.
- Ryan throws a rock at Duncan to get his attention.
- Duncan sees the beam and runs up to it.
- He pulls out his phone to take a picture.
- Ryan yells at him.
- Duncan grabs onto his Ryan's foot with one hand, while holding his phone in the other.
- Duncan tries to help also but wants to take a picture and must decide what is more important.
- Ryan tries kicking the phone out of his hand.
- Ryan accidentally kicks Duncan in the face.
- Duncan puts his phone away.
- Duncan tries to help his friends.
- Duncan's hand slips and his friends get pulled up.
- Duncan is left alone, stunned. (Climax)
- He is still there the following morning.
- His friends are dropped back down on Earth, but their heads are swapped.
- They all scream in terror.
- Duncan tries to take a picture.
- The two are pulled back up quickly.
- They are dropped again with their heads on their respective bodies.
- Duncan is excited his friends are back.
- He shows them the pictures he took, which turn out to be useless.
- The three leave to go back to into town the way they wanted to in the beginning. (Resolution)
- Mr. Winters gets dropped off in the desert as well, still muttering to himself.
Treatment:
Three young men named Duncan, Ryan and Zack are on the outskirts of their small desert town searching for UFOs, with Duncan leading the charge. They have a computer, a telescope, and a ham radio. While Duncan constantly bounces back and forth between these different pieces of equipment, Zack and Ryan have grown visibly tired of this and want to do something else. Ryan, the more impatient of the two, speaks up.
Ryan: Duncan, it's been eight hours. Can we call it quits?
Duncan: No way! There's gotta be something out there! Mr. Winters said said he saw something the other day!
They look over to see the clearly deranged old Mr. Winters sitting in a porch outside of his trailer, rambling to himself. Ryan and Zack are unimpressed.
Duncan: Look, just give me another half hour, okay? Then we can go.
We fade to see it is much later than Duncan promised, now fully dark.
Ryan: Duncan, it's been eight hours. Can we call it quits?
Duncan: No way! There's gotta be something out there! Mr. Winters said said he saw something the other day!
They look over to see the clearly deranged old Mr. Winters sitting in a porch outside of his trailer, rambling to himself. Ryan and Zack are unimpressed.
Duncan: Look, just give me another half hour, okay? Then we can go.
We fade to see it is much later than Duncan promised, now fully dark.
Ryan (Annoyed): Alright, we've waited long enough! Let's get out of here!
Duncan doesn't acknowledge them and brushes them off. Insulted, frustrated and tired, Ryan and Zack get their stuff and get ready to leave. Just before they head out, Ryan goes to have a cigarette. While waiting for Ryan, Zack begins to notice a number of bright flashes in the distance. However, he does not understand what is going on until he sees the old man being lifted into the air within a beam of light. He then looks up to see a huge, featureless mass in the sky looming towards them. He runs to tell Ryan but is too petrified to make comprehensible words. Unfortunately, Ryan is in such a bad mood he refuses to try and understand him.
Zack: (Stammering)
Ryan: Look, Zack, I'm not in the mood for your jokes, okay. I'll be ready to go in a second.
Next, he runs to Duncan, but again, is stammering. Meanwhile, Duncan is too invested in his search to listen. He gets fed up with both and starts to walk away. However, before he can go anywhere, a beam shines down on him and begins to pull him up. Zack shouts for help, which finally gets Ryan's attention. Shocked, Ryan leaps to grab onto Zack's leg. However, Ryan starts getting lifted up as well. Before he gets off the ground, he grabs a rock and throws it at Duncan to get his attention. Finally, Duncan responds and is immediately stunned. He runs up to the beam of light. In a panic, he pulls out his phone and tries to take a picture until Ryan yells at him. Duncan then grabs onto Ryan's leg with one hand while still trying to take a picture.
Ryan: Dude! Stop messing around and help us!
Ryan snaps at his friend and starts trying to kick the phone out of his hand. Instead, he begins kicking him in the head. Duncan tosses his phone and begins actively pulling. His hands slip, however, and his friends fly up into the darkness and disappear.
We fade to see Duncan still out in the desert alone, numb to what has happened. He gets up and knocks over his equipment in anger and sits back down. As he sulks, Ryan and Zack are dropped back down on Earth, landing on Duncan, but their heads are switched. All three notice this and start screaming in terror. Duncan tries to take a picture. The two are quickly pulled back up, and come back down with heads on the right heads. This time, they fall and land on Duncan. When they get up, Duncan is ecstatic while they are disoriented from the experience.
Duncan: Guys! You're alive!
Ryan: Yea. I guess so.
Zack: Were you able to get any good shots?
Duncan looks at his phone and all the images are worthless. They are either blurry, pictures of Ryan's shoe when he was kicking him or pictures of Duncan taken with the front facing camera.
Duncan: (beat) Let's just go home.
The three then decide they have had enough for the day and walk their way back into town.
Ryan: Do you think any bars are still open right now? I really need a drink.
As they walk away, Mr. Winters is dropped back down as well, still rambling to himself.
Reading through the book Ideas for the Animated Short, the book provided some advice for coming up with a story for a short film. One recommendation the book made was to make a work based on our own experiences, likes and dislikes. When I came up with this story, I knew I wanted to make a story about a dysfunctional, yet loyal group of friends, which came from my own experiences with my childhood friends. At the same time, I have had an idea about teenagers hunting aliens in the desert for years. However, another thing the book pointed out was cliches, which included aliens as characters. As a result, I want to keep the overall presence of any aliens to a minimum and keep the focus on the humans and their interactions. Meanwhile, the aliens would only serve as a catalyst that provokes their interactions. Another thing the book explains is to show, don't tell, so I had to figure out how to keep exposition to a minimum. In turn, this allows for more slapstick. Instead of having characters explain something going on, they can get each other's attention physically, like when Duncan gets hit in the head with a rock. Overall, I want this story to be along the lines of a comedy drama, where the characters constant butting heads will provide some humor while also driving the emotional story.
The story's main conflict is character vs. character, while character vs. nature is a secondary conflict. Even when there is an alien abduction, I want the true conflict to lie in the characters' relationships. Even in the climax, when two of the characters are being pulled up into the mysterious entity in the sky, the emphasis is on Duncan deciding to save his friends over his obsession with proving aliens' existence and the resolution comes from him coming to cope with losing his friends and their return. As the book says, the character's emotions and how they react to situations drives the story and the action, and I want this to affect the viewer and bring them in emotionally. While the friction between the three will lead to some comedy, it will also kickstart the overarching conflict in the story and the characters will have to deal with the aftermath. However, hopefully it leads to a more heartwarming payoff in the end when they are reunited.
Duncan doesn't acknowledge them and brushes them off. Insulted, frustrated and tired, Ryan and Zack get their stuff and get ready to leave. Just before they head out, Ryan goes to have a cigarette. While waiting for Ryan, Zack begins to notice a number of bright flashes in the distance. However, he does not understand what is going on until he sees the old man being lifted into the air within a beam of light. He then looks up to see a huge, featureless mass in the sky looming towards them. He runs to tell Ryan but is too petrified to make comprehensible words. Unfortunately, Ryan is in such a bad mood he refuses to try and understand him.
Zack: (Stammering)
Ryan: Look, Zack, I'm not in the mood for your jokes, okay. I'll be ready to go in a second.
Next, he runs to Duncan, but again, is stammering. Meanwhile, Duncan is too invested in his search to listen. He gets fed up with both and starts to walk away. However, before he can go anywhere, a beam shines down on him and begins to pull him up. Zack shouts for help, which finally gets Ryan's attention. Shocked, Ryan leaps to grab onto Zack's leg. However, Ryan starts getting lifted up as well. Before he gets off the ground, he grabs a rock and throws it at Duncan to get his attention. Finally, Duncan responds and is immediately stunned. He runs up to the beam of light. In a panic, he pulls out his phone and tries to take a picture until Ryan yells at him. Duncan then grabs onto Ryan's leg with one hand while still trying to take a picture.
Ryan: Dude! Stop messing around and help us!
Ryan snaps at his friend and starts trying to kick the phone out of his hand. Instead, he begins kicking him in the head. Duncan tosses his phone and begins actively pulling. His hands slip, however, and his friends fly up into the darkness and disappear.
We fade to see Duncan still out in the desert alone, numb to what has happened. He gets up and knocks over his equipment in anger and sits back down. As he sulks, Ryan and Zack are dropped back down on Earth, landing on Duncan, but their heads are switched. All three notice this and start screaming in terror. Duncan tries to take a picture. The two are quickly pulled back up, and come back down with heads on the right heads. This time, they fall and land on Duncan. When they get up, Duncan is ecstatic while they are disoriented from the experience.
Duncan: Guys! You're alive!
Ryan: Yea. I guess so.
Zack: Were you able to get any good shots?
Duncan looks at his phone and all the images are worthless. They are either blurry, pictures of Ryan's shoe when he was kicking him or pictures of Duncan taken with the front facing camera.
Duncan: (beat) Let's just go home.
The three then decide they have had enough for the day and walk their way back into town.
Ryan: Do you think any bars are still open right now? I really need a drink.
As they walk away, Mr. Winters is dropped back down as well, still rambling to himself.
Reading through the book Ideas for the Animated Short, the book provided some advice for coming up with a story for a short film. One recommendation the book made was to make a work based on our own experiences, likes and dislikes. When I came up with this story, I knew I wanted to make a story about a dysfunctional, yet loyal group of friends, which came from my own experiences with my childhood friends. At the same time, I have had an idea about teenagers hunting aliens in the desert for years. However, another thing the book pointed out was cliches, which included aliens as characters. As a result, I want to keep the overall presence of any aliens to a minimum and keep the focus on the humans and their interactions. Meanwhile, the aliens would only serve as a catalyst that provokes their interactions. Another thing the book explains is to show, don't tell, so I had to figure out how to keep exposition to a minimum. In turn, this allows for more slapstick. Instead of having characters explain something going on, they can get each other's attention physically, like when Duncan gets hit in the head with a rock. Overall, I want this story to be along the lines of a comedy drama, where the characters constant butting heads will provide some humor while also driving the emotional story.
The story's main conflict is character vs. character, while character vs. nature is a secondary conflict. Even when there is an alien abduction, I want the true conflict to lie in the characters' relationships. Even in the climax, when two of the characters are being pulled up into the mysterious entity in the sky, the emphasis is on Duncan deciding to save his friends over his obsession with proving aliens' existence and the resolution comes from him coming to cope with losing his friends and their return. As the book says, the character's emotions and how they react to situations drives the story and the action, and I want this to affect the viewer and bring them in emotionally. While the friction between the three will lead to some comedy, it will also kickstart the overarching conflict in the story and the characters will have to deal with the aftermath. However, hopefully it leads to a more heartwarming payoff in the end when they are reunited.
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